I think I speak chipmunk. Odd.
Are you high?
No. That's why it's odd
Did I tell you he has dinosaur sheets?
If there was chocolate on Regis Philban's dick, I would totally lick it off. That's how desperate I am for some right now.
I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
My new apartment is within walking distance of both the liquor store and the chinese buffet. This is either going to be my worst life choice ever or my best.
Bring my gorilla suit and my bong.
Oh its going to be that type of weekend?
Tell Chris I said sorry for yelling "It's my vagina, let me do what I want with it!" at the party last night.
Ideas I've had tonight: An entire movie based off the Pixar lamp jumping on stuff.
it's ok my mom asked me why i had a guys shirt on and also why there was chocolate all over my bra
She's seen your dick through your pants. You don't need to ask
You gotta do what you gotta do. Like how I gotta drive in the rain to go get chicken nuggets. I just gotta.
Im just drunk enough to admit that I miss Hannah Montana.
I have mastered the art of having sex on monkey bars.
may or may not have snorted a line of tums... wtf.
Let me set the mood for you. Do you remember Britney Spears in her Hit Me Baby One More Time era? Well I just fucked this college girl I shit you not her name is Persephone and she looks exactly like Britney Spears back when she was hot. I might be in love.
Randomize
