It was kinda weird being the boss
Did you feel like Tony Danza?
Time to put an end to this 'unprotected sex with crazy girls who have violent exes' trip I've been on so far this summer
i just got a fart via voicenote. blackberry has officially changed history.
Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
Just passed a strip club with a Marquis sign that said 'tis the squeezin'
closing bar tabs have helped me with simple math in college.
Woke up with 3 sports bras for underwear. Valiant effort drunk me.
his roommates said i can move in if i promise to only drink tequila the rest of the semester. challenge accepted.
Found a single cinnamon toast crunch between my butt cheeks. We did work last night
I swear my vagina formed calluses just to deal with how big he is
I had such a pleasant walk of shame. The sun was shining, I smiled at all the high school suckers who judged me on their way to school, and I made friends with an old guy and his dog.
It's tough not drinking when the bartender adds rum to your coke without telling you, and doesn't charge you
It's official. I'm gonna fuck hot art class guy. But this won't be like hot Samsung guy. I'm gonna make sure I follow through this time.
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
We watched Purple Rain and then proceeded to have sex while listening to the album. If that's not exactly how Prince would want people to honor him, I don't know what is
Randomize