New universal law, if a movie has a Rob Zombie song in it, its probably a bad movie.
You should get with him and swear you have to use lambskin condoms. That'll test his veganism.
He puked on the grill while the burgers were on. We had to go to taco bell
BTW. If I show up really drunk and dressed a cowboy, don't be alarmed
He just stared me dead in the eye as he continued to beat off. Then said "you were going to catch me sooner or later".
So this 40 year old woman was trying to bring me into the bathroom to blow me and the bartender called the cops on her because she was showing her tits. Only in asbury.
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
You put me in such a good mood with that road head, I bought everyone at Hooters donuts.
This guy is selling weed on the train. Like... Straight up. No fucks given.
Asking me to suck on my nipples isn't going to make me less mad at you.
I'm not in bed, I'm driving and puking at the same time.... first for everything
Of course that's what I'm wearing. I need to find a beard to mount and ride STAT.
Do you know why I slept in the yard last night?
You said you watched the lion king stoned and had to do it for simba.
Pride rock will get you every time.
I think drunk me saved him in my phone as "beautiful man" to play a joke on sober me
Thanks for driving us home last night. Also, blanket apology for anything I may have said/done. I blacked out sometime near the t-shirt cape incident
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