I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
I just saw a commercial that said "call your doctor if erections last more than 4 hours". I said "disgusting" and my mom said "I know, i hate when that happens." Get me out of here.
Dude, hurry and get over. I need a wingman. She is on her 6th vodka shot and her resident ugly friend is still sober
I managed to throw up 90 feet under water, just removed my breathing tube, puked, put it back in. All inclusive is the way to go.
This guy legit just tried to LSAT formal logic his way into my pants. Contrapositives and everything.
Were taking tot shots. If toddlers could drink these are the size of shots they would take
I told him I'd put in a good word. And the word of the day is: NEGATIVE
Your cum is still running out of me. I pity the next person that tries these jeans on....
you're like that jamaican tarat card reading chick... only with herpes
I DONT UNDERSTAND NIPPLES. THEY JUST POP OUT FOR NO REASON
Well somebody's had a rough day, nipple-wise
Where are you in relation to the mariatchi band?
Omg have I shown you my skeezy ex fiancée?
The other one.
The only times we have to apologize in this friendship is when you intentionally punch me and that's only happened once so it's okay
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
lol show me an arrest record and I'll drop my panties
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