Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
Okay I've seen like three girls walking around crying today. Weird?
everyone's regretting their thursdays.
his pokemon pajamas? the fact that he was proud of the stretchmarks on his arms? or finding out he has a daughter that went to high school with us? ...you tell me what was the dealbreaker
we had a 10 minute conversation with his family about how I don't let him eat me out. I want to go home
I just cleaned your Jaeger vomit off my car with a knife. Don't ever say I don't love you.
She was our DD the least I could do is have sex with her. Even when drunk I'm still chivalrous.
You were convinced you would hurt my car if you opened the door. Then you barfed in the pretzle bucket Peter gave you
I Have a huge scrape on my knee and I need a better excuse than dry humping on a park bench...
So I'll be starting a scrapbook from all the mugshots of the guys I've slept with
I just ate cream cheese straight for my dog
I'm afraid to ask what that means
All my friends are getting married and I'm pole dancing in a tattoo shop. I don't know how I feel about this.
They spent thousands on one day. You made $76 in 30 minutes. You should feel great about that.
DO NOT FUCK YOUR ENGAGED GAY NEIGHBOR!
Our sex sesh was interrupted by a bunch of hobos fighting outside his apartment.
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