im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
I am like the Mr. Miyagi of queefs.
wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer
He just walked up to be, grabbed my boob and said 'i think they have shrunk' i have no idea who he was.
dude i woke up sitting indian style with my face on the ground and my hand in a bucket of ice.
Okay good. And who the fuck put a condom on my foot. That shit hurt
I'm glad I get the same reaction from you for cookies and for my naked body
He made me cum 7 times AND I nearly drowned him during that 69 in the back of a ford focus. Yeah I should get my gynocologist.
bro i dont care how hot she was, you try keeping it up with the amount of puppet he had in her room, it was like fucking in jeff dunham's house
Trying to put a fitted sheet on drunk is one of the boss levels of slutty adulthood.
About to go make a man out of a 24 year old boy
As I shove my ninth taquito of the day into my mouth...
Picking our battles
I’ll always remember that day you sent me that random nude on accident lmao changed my life
All I remember is being in the middle of the road puking and my bestfriend cheering me on from the passenger seat...
Are you still passed out in my back seat, or do I need to come find you?
Randomize
