Hey sorry i havent responded. i threw up on my phone while i was sleeping
Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
Coming down off exstacy at a church event. Resisting the urge to dance to the church hymns.
the orgasm was like being thrown to the other end of reality, so getting a nosebleed from it wasnt too upsetting at that point
i'm duct taped to my bed with a condom in my hand. something went wrong
Woke up chewing my pillow from a dream where I was scarfing Cajun pasta from TGI Friday's. That's a new level of fat, even for us
I don't remember what happened but judging from the contents of my pockets it had something to do with potatoes and glo in the dark condoms
I made him ride the giant pony statue in my friends little sisters room before i let him get in the bed.
you were exchanging tortilla chips with the guy at the next table, telling him your table was given the "big chips" because it was your 21st birthday
We could be the people that go there! Shuffleboard n shit. Meet strippers.
You had me at shuffleboard and strippers
Ya he's the booze devil, like if the black hole and Bermuda triangle joined forces with Captain Morgan
I had very briefly met him a few years ago. My friend was tired of hearing us both complain about being horny. She figured she would fuck two birds with one stone.
Asking for a friend: is it frowned upon to eat pizza while you materbate or does it just mean you are fantastic at multitasking?
My neck is sore from all the headbanging. And I can't tell the difference between the jello stains and cum stains.
I thought he was hot. You know, in a “I’ve gone batshit insane and want blood for the blood god” sort of way.
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