Happy Easter!!!
I'm an idiot
you definitely have a few illegitimate kids
probs. Not too worried about it though. MOst girls are too embarrassed that they let me into their pants that they'll never admit its mine
I am wasted and people are fist pumping. This should not happen on the west coast.
I had the spins so badly it was like I was having sex with 2 girls
I apparently spent $173 at the bar last night. The proof is in the vomit on my pillow and the receipt I tried to clean it up with.
My vagina is depressed thinking about her future.
We can't bring brittanys dog so we are getting high and getting in my bathtub I think it's pretty safe
I may have made out with a tranny last night, which, if I don't get fired for everything else that happened, really makes last night epic.
yes and no. im drunk but idk if im "blow marcus" drunk. call in like an hour.
Well, we could've been at the bar taking a shot everytime my rash spread. But Noooooo. You had to go out with your non- girlfriend. Lame.
well if they don't get here soon...no fuck it, I'm going to the strip club.
i just smoked marajunia from a shotgun barrell. what have you done today?
SO DRUNK
PUKED IN DRIVEWAY
TELL PARENTS SORRY
My mom and sister were over. When my drunk roommate came home, he yelled "GOT BITCHES IN MY CONDO"
I'm all about clean living these days
You started your day with fried chicken and a bloody
... after you woke up in your own urine
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