I may not go down in history, but i will definitely go down on your little sister.
We were tigers and tigers don't wear pants
If i could bang her from 80ft away, I would
he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
When you went through airport security you asked if the could check if a baby was in there. That drunk.
We haven't even scratched the surface on the damage we could do. Just saying
Full contact beer pong was definitely not my best idea.
Woke up covered in green glitter and beer. I am never leaving Ireland.
My mom is wine drunk and on painkillers. As invigorating as that conversation was, it was also a dark glimpse into my future
We were at dinner and dad asked me to pass the salt and I suddenly remembered doing body shots when I was blacked out last weekend.
I'm trying to fuck him and feed him. I don't understand why it isn't working.
Waxing your own asshole is awkward and difficult at best.
Tell me why i'm looking through my medical records and the last thing it said about my labor was 'vagina was explored'!?
You made the lady who made your cheeseburger sign the box so that when she got famous you would have her autograph.
I felt the need to set off fireworks in the living room while they were having sex upstairs. Yes, they quieted down.
Randomize
