The funny thing about my wife cheating on me is that the guy probably has genital warts now. Sweet.
we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
This unplanned pregnancy thing is really taking all the fun out of football season.
Imagine that my comprehension level is that of a 7 year old and explain your plan again
I know you claim to have a large penis but I do not believe in what i cannot see. Sort of like god.
i convinced her i need a blow job every morning to wake up because i have a medical condition.
The object of the game was to pour tequila into a sombrero and drink as much as you can before it leaked through, 'Big Papi' won.
Mid stroke she told me she'd had bigger. Replied I could tell. Sex ended right at that moment.
I wouldn't be too worried. He's been known to chase a chubby before.
THAT IS NOT HOW YOU TALK TO YOUR SISTER
So as a result of a tragic manscaping accident I've had to shave all the hair off of my legs. The result is... not great
I've never been so tempted to check my phone during sex in my life.
Thanks for fingering me to orgasm during Wu-Tang Clan
She's eating hot cheetos out of the bag with chopsticks, Matt, how is she NOT my soulmate?
Crying into a glass of wine at 10 am isn't exactly how I planned this day to go
Can you please venmo me emergency money? i have no pants.
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