He sat on a barstool and did the robot for 3 hours - I'm pretty sure he enjoyed himself.
He was a level 5 clinger dude i dont need to be told how ridiculously awesome i am all the time, if so id just hang out with my mom
they named it eva bongoria. i had to hit it based on the name alone.
Made a salesman quit his job, a saleswoman cry, and got a manager to half shout "fuck this"....successful drunk Christmas shopping
I don't think my arm is broken I can still text
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
I ended up with bruises on the back of my knees. Tell me again how I did this?
No, this is a senior booty call. It cannot be ignored.
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
i'm going as a slutty football player, and all night i'll drunkily whisper "id love to catch your balls." into random strangers ears.
You were naked too, so it cancels out. We're straight.
She asked me if I would fuck her with my storm trooper mask on
Well now you know... If you can get over the awkward... The dick is 10 min away.
I literally forgot every French word I knew and blurted out “mange moi” so he went down on me like I was some baguette fresh outta the oven!!!! I passed out.
Randomize
