i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
note to self: Never ask your girlfriend to have a 3some with your ex...
A squiggle pen was my first vibrator back when I was young. I would lock myself in my bedroom with that thing. Oh to be 8 again.
Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
Waldo just asked us for directions. Even he doesn't know where he is.
I somehow fell asleep on my kitchen counter using the microwave as a pillow
When I look at old family photos I know how jessica simpson feels when she watches dukes of hazzard
I fingered her though her window because she couldn't leave
I almost stepped in a homeless mans stream of urine as he was peeing. I love this city.
Oh my god. I slept with my boyfriend last night. It was wonderful.
And when I say my boyfriend I mean my electric blanket. Because that's the kind of life I lead.
I just cut open the plastic package of a Plan B pill using the bottle opener I carry in my purse. #whyidrink
why are there 3 differently sized panties on our kitchen counter?
You're right, I'd say my real all time low was when I let that fifteen-year-old feel my boob.
Be quiet or buzz aldrin will come beat you up with science
I may have made out with your roommate and your cousin tonight. In my defense I thought both of them were your cousin.
Randomize
