I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
I woke up in my girlfriends bed with another guy laying next to me. wtf.
We broke into the space center. If i go to jail I wanted to tell you, you have a fantastic dick. Use it wisely.
they sound like some classy girls.
Hey, I don't give them daddy issues, I just take advantage of it. The real bad guy here is American parenting.
You paid a stripper $40 to choke me out last night.
Just copped mushrooms from a dude in a business suit. U comin or what?
They tried to dine n dash at dennys and the waiter jumped on their car and broke their windshield
My aunt comes over, haven't seen her in 4 years. First thing, looks me up and down and goes "...yup, that pair ripened nicely. Theyll get you some free drinks"
I think you were raised by the wrong sister
he had a Pillsbury dough boy tattoo to remind him of his drug dealing days
I remember you fighting a small man for the last of the pizza. Was there a midget in my house last night?
I know but at least you've never been asked to have sex dressed up like Catwoman
I'm the kind of girl who misses her mouth when trying to eat, do you honestly think I'm coordinated enough to wear heels during sex?
Dude. He almost took three different girls home, all while dressed up as Amy Winehouse. If he goes as Kurt Cobain next weekend, we're screwed.
My cousin was arrested on a class b felony for selling meth out of the back door of McDonald's where he worked. Apparently it was the extra special sauce.
It was a career choice to be sure... Mistakes were made.
Randomize
