I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
Deffinety need to stop having sex on the beach just took a dump and it was mostly sand
I didnt realize we were having a competition in poor decision making skills
how else could I explain the last few years
He kept yelling "osteoporosis" and threw milk at her because she broke her arm.
Yes, she did suck your dick in the bathroom to wake you up.
I'm calling into work with a wicked case of sledge hammer crotch. She has to understand
I woke up naked dangling by my feet from the balcony over his foyer. He's officially my new favorite booty call.
at what point last night did we decide it was okay to let me hitch hike to another bar?
Either im tripping real hard, or there's a legit land shark in my apartment.
You know you're baked when you feel your throat closing up from an allergic reaction to the pecans in the cookie you're eating but you keep eating the damn cookie.
I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.
Leave it to me and my dad to puke on the same guy at the same bar 25 years apart
It's official: I now only own one pair of jeans that I haven't blown the crotch out of. It might be time to put a stop to red wine Wednesdays.
You mean, in addition to red wine every-fucking-days?
We both shit in the same closet in Santa Fe. Nothing is sacred anymore.
Pretty sure I'm partying in a onesie right now.
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