the next pure michigan commercial i see, i am going to pee in a fucking lake
I just had human shit waiting for me at the top of the escalator at Bowery. This is truly the Lord's day.
May the Lord look upon you in favor and give you pees.
my friend asked What a UTI was in front of everyone, letts just say his girlfriend was a lil pissed
why is there cat hair all over my deoderant?
she wanted to smell more freshershest than you.
You know there's only so much I can do with a great personality.
Everytime I know she spent a lot of time on her hair for one of our dates, I intentionally cum on the top of her head. That's how she knows I pay attention.
Please God, is a penis possibly making it to vagina town to much to ask for tonight.
No man. Everyone needs to shit off a roof, at least once.
I was so drunk last night I asked a rando at the bar to take a picture with me cause I thought he was in the band
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
The irony of the fact that I'm going to be starting my period on Thanksgiving. Something to truly be thankful for.
I don't just want drugs. I deserve drugs.
I just fanned myself with my wet toothbrush to dry my mascara. Wtf
I don't know..He walked out of your room with a kraft single..and blood on his shirt...He really wanted cheese.
I puked on someone's floor last night and then they proceeded to ask me on a date.
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