BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
me and this guy in my office just exchanged an "i saw you at a drag show last night" look as he passed by my desk.
My present? It was a fake boarding pass he made in Photoshop. He litterally just gave me a one way ticket to Pound Town
worst part about day drinking... waking up to george lopez
And I was aware of my actions - that is not a penis I will say no to until I have a ring on my finger
So fucking hammered. Is this all spelled right? I'm holding it up to my eye. I am on a boulder. I feel like an owl
he kept telling me how much his girlfriend would love me while we were making. why does tequila always do this to me?
Welcome to drunk texts. Live from Margaritaville, it's Saturday night!!!
This is America. Thomas Jefferson would have said I want some vagina.
I think he's hit rock bottom. You know it's a low point in life when you cry because you weren't invited to sit in a box car and watch porn with two other straight dudes.
So I told him it takes a lot to get me drunk & he said he was the heavyweight champion in college. We high-fived. Obviously I'm the favorite child.
Didn't want you to think it had been open season on my vagina since we broke up.
Tonight we learned that just because we can fit a Tic Tac in the tip of my penis that does not mean we should.
Kind of like the new iOS 10 because I can send sexts with fireworks or confetti. Really gets the point across
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