Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
the only reason I knew his name is because half way through I looked up and it was tatooed on his chest.
I woke up after 12 hours of being wildly intoxicated, got jizz on my face, and woke up in a different bed than I passed out in. My makeup is still perfect. I'm writing Revlon a thank you note.
there are certain things about getting into a cab to go home at 630 am that make me feel like a prostitute.
woke up this morning with a fat chick but she went downstairs and made pancakes without saying a word.
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
She just sat there, all alone, with a bottle of booze. And the dog. He even looked like he didn't wanna be there with her.
My boyfriend correctly calculated the time I would be out of alcohol and showed up about four minutes after I'd run out with two bottles of wine. I think this is love.
And by go well you mean everyone's hammered right?
Yupp. And someone's bleeding
Dad and I are shitfaced screaming at Canadians in Walmart. Life is good.
Apparently after I threw up I put my socks in the toilet......
I'm wearing sunglasses around my house. Douchebag status. The hangover is real.
I'm fine with our borderline lesbian behavior.
Still fucking the ballerina?
She can put her legs behind her head.
Enough said
Hey I just woke up in the back of a pickup truck parked at taco bell... Can u come get me?
Randomize