she must wash her vagina with a dirtier vagina
not sure what i find more disconcerting, your text or the fact that i recognized that as a dane cook quote
I'm always impressed by your drunken ability to quickly gauge how long it's been since you've shaved and whether or not your prospective hook up will care.
Ya I fucked her.. But now Melissa is gonna find out
Just tell her that in a man's never ending war between his heart and his dick... His heart never wins
Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
do you remember the combo for the lock to my pants?
Dude she has starbursts in her sports bra. I feel like this is counter productive.
He Facebook stalked his way right into my pants.
Is there a non-awkward way to tell a girl I work with that she looks just like my favourite pornstar?
Why can't people give useful wedding gifts...like sex swings or Nutella?
They should incorporate dolphins into professional surfing
Look at the picture I MADE him take with me...like why??? He's holding my foot?
I'm still not 100% sure who I'm sleeping with
Okay first of all, that is a sick ass nickname please call me that forever. Second, i need your help.
While he was fucking me, he just stopped and said, "Mike says Hi." Then proceeded to fuck me.
What did you do?
What do you say to that!? But, when I came, I screamed out my full name.
Randomize
