I just pynch a tree in the face
Her vagina smelled like hockey gear.
I cannot believe you needed a note to remind yourself to ask me about the fourteen sleeping Mexicans.
decided to have an easter egg hunt this year. the golden egg has weed in it and all the others have shots of vodka. who said we were too old for easter?!?
Dear vodka that I hid in a water bottle in the backseat of Blairs car, I'm sorry that she gave you away to a man on side of the road with an over heated engine. I'm sure the car doesn't appreciate you as much as I would have.
every time you want to hook up with a guy who has a girl friend, i'll just give you a freshman
You make shower sex sound like waterboarding
i think you walked me home, then i felt bad for putting you through the trouble so i walked you home...i'm not sure how i got home after that.
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
hot buttered vodka was not a success. on any level.
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
I think I'm crying more because after all these years he never learned to spell you or use a comma properly from me
Just had an orgasim to the Star Spangled Banner so.. it was all worth it.
I turn into such a nice and loving person when I take Vicodin
They were shocked that I could handle my liquor so well. I'm half Irish and half Russian. This is what I'm made for
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