JACOB AND UGLY BROKE UP
dude i woke up in a pile of chocolate chips. this has to stop happening
i just was bootyclappin in front of homeless men in a back alley
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
The Angel on my shoulder is now resorting to merely reminding me that, "You will regret this later." I'm not sure if he's learning how I think or just giving up. Either way, should make life a bit more interesting.
How do you delicately ask if your friend's dad was arrested for solicitation of prostitution?
Nahh no judgin. Compliments to the balls are always heartfelt
Thank god I work in a lab. This pinkeye is out of control and my safety glasses are the only thing stopping me from digging at my eye with a pen
After round two, I told him he deserves an award. He bowed and did a princess wave WHILE his dick was still inside me.
She always used to joke about becoming a stripper. WHO'S FUNNY NOW?!
So he has moved up to a stage 5 clinger...Surprised he didn't try to lure you into bed with tacos, like he did last time
Yeah... akward. I don't want a round 2
Let's just say, I'm pretty sure you're banned from Skype.... like, forever.
We have sober sex! It's a real relationship.
I'm basically doing the Walk of Shame without the added bonus of having sex last night. That doesn't look good on anyone.
Hot or not, she’s from Boston. It’s hard to nut when she sounds like Mark Wahlberg
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