What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
I seriously just caught my 15 year old little sister with a positive pregnancy test coming out of the bathroom. Honest to God.
I have a coat hanger and a baseball bat. Her choice.
Dude's from Puerto Rico. Majoring in Spanish is like us majoring in drinking with a minor in watching Forgetting Sarah Marshall.
I guess our biggest consolation is that we haven't woken up in a hottub with a dead dude. Yet.
well, I was going to forgive her anyway but not because shes my best friend and moreso because shes my drug dealer
I don't think she considers it a date unless she publicly urinates
do you know how ratchet you have to be to get kicked out of a drag club on Halloween weekend??
Awee what are you going to name your new dog?
What dog?
Just make it a game! Like 20 questions STD style.
Jesus I should have learned from my first marriage not to get married again
Phil and I agree that the level of sand in your vagina rivals that of many of the earth's largest deserts
Last night I had a sex dream about Trudeau, he hasn't even been prime minister for 24 hours
Well I typed "penicillin a" into the search engine and before I could finish "penicillin and drinking" popped up. Google knows me too well.
You spilled your drink, and we laughed so hard my boobs popped out of my shirt.
We left an ass print on the conference room table, but I don’t think anyone caught on
Randomize
