people and things i regret. that's what i want to do tonight.
Buhtt sex?
I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
I didnt pay $190 for a fake with a new middle name of Vane..
there is a ziplock bag over sangria in a wineglass in the fridge...classy?
he was CRYING into my vagina
If I can't get a one-legged man to love me, what the hell chance do I have with a NORMAL guy???
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
I'm watching i used to be fat. I've been doing crunches for the last half hour yelling at the slut on tv to stop crying and do crunches.
You can't tell me you've honestly NEVER considered smoking a Froot Loop
I'm kinda amazed by how many times I've texted the word penis today.
Bro... You handed me an ice cube from your drink and said "tell me if it tastes like pickles".
shes on the ground doing bicycle kicks screaming "is my ass good enough for you now satan" send help
Im so hungover I just threw up at the sight of a CARTOON CRABBY PATTY
So apparently I’m into choking now
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