**i WaNt TO sLaP mY niECe wHO ThINks iT iS cUte tO WriTE LiKE tHiS**
he ran me a hot bath. i thought i was in a pot and was going to be eaten. i was strangely ok with this
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
Im positive, your name was on my abdomen, Im pretty sure thats solid evidence
Are you up yet? I really want to know if i tried sleeping in a field... i have the vaguest memory of trying to
You strapped the bucket of KFC into the carseat and refused to let me drive over 20 miles per hour the whole ride home. That high.
I am making it a rule that only people I am comfortable around enough to not have to put a bra on are allowed for Sunday funday. I think that's a good rule for someone who started drinking alone at noon while everyone else here sipped their coffee.
I have got to stop taking so many uppers and downers simultaneously. My life is a Dali painting.
Oh dude I know. When something that's supposed stop pregnancies taste like chocolate something's up
Naked and Afraid: Hangover edition
she walked up to me at the bar, kissed me, andthen declared "I HAVEN'T SEEN YOU OR YOUR PENIS SINCE 2011."
Drunk is not a location!
It's like every time I'm baked I discover my fingers all over again.
He bent me in ways I couldn't imagine.. and im a gymnast.
I have vodka, fruit gushers, and health insurance. Let's party.
Randomize
