Jennifer and I just ate like 4 jello shots w/ a guy dressed as inspector gadget. We are still in the capital building btw
I love Texas.
I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
you were passed out in your cheese fries by the time he brought out your second order of french toast.
I met the perfect girl for you, she's smart, likes cars, has at least one ear, and really blue eyes!
please elaborate on, "atleast one ear"
he kept a regular condom in his wallet just so he could comment on how it wouldnt fit before whipping out the magnums. i give him points for the build up
We almost died tonight..we almost die every night. but tonight was the closest by far
I'm using the size of your dick as a guage to see how big something is on Amazon. Any questions?
Yeah. He can't come because his mom found the pizza box under his bed with my underwear in it. He acted confused, guess because i forgot to tell him..
There were two girls and a guy on a bed and now i can put porn director on my resume.
Hey, please tell me that you and dad are having actual steaks tonight and I did not just get sexted by my dad
i decided if i had to, i could survive with only 3 fingers on each hand.
He kept singing Happy Birthday to himself, yelling at the bouncers for not letting him in, and telling them his "father will hear of this." He was like a drunken Scottish Draco Malfoy.
she threw up on her exam, awkwardly wiped it off with her sleeve and continued writing.
While finding our clothes afterwards he says..."So do we like have to talk after this?"
Randomize
