Just woke up naked in my storage cubby and some one rearragned my whole room?
no jk, not my room
I was actually kinda bummed my STD test came back negative.
That would have been proof he'd slept with the stripper. Lame.
Do they make some cleansing product for your soul? Like mouthwash that makes you not a skank? Or is that what religions for?
Eh, i think it's called sobriety. But its not fun.
i told her she would have to blow me everytime we lost a game of beer pong, she never noticed i purposely hit our opponents in the face every other shot
Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
I'm studying for my midterm by watching porn with Spanish subtitles. Surprisingly the words are still really distracting..
Have your arms or hands ever gone numb after drinking too much?
Wtf did you do last night?
Is it too early to say this year has been a blur?
Thats stupid. Your future is a life of less pay for the same work. Free drinks is how capitalism reimburses women for its inequality. & youre not even taking it!
Finals week...the biggest cock block since your brother threatened me with a beer bottle at the bar.
I'm just chillin on the bathroom floor
Haha oh no
The bathroom floor is like my second bedroom on the weekends
I also woke up on my floor. Naked. On a pile of clothes. With my head in the trash can. And a sheet over me.
You will drink beer in a kiddie pool in your back yard but you wont bring a girl home
Thank you for dog sitting, there is $60 on my desk to be spent on DRUGS AND/OR GAS ONLY not that food stuff people crave.
You cannot steal the fun of my nakedness. You do not own my nakedness. My nakedness is my sole property and I share that fun with whom I choose.
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