Highlight of my evening, pile of books falling onto me in front of people
Why is there 6 cases of kwic trip dounuts dumped in my bed? Best 34 dollar wake up of my life
Who spends 33 dollars at Taco Bell and lives???
At the time, making out with dudes for keg money seemed like a genius idea. Now I realize it was borderline prostitution.
She said just put your tongue in there and don't linger. I have other things to do.
Thanksgiving. This year's theme: I am thankful that I still have a liver.
My mouth feels like I've been chewing on leather and firecrackers for the past 3 days
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
Just saw a couple do like 5 Sakai bombs and my dad goes "who says love is dead"
Someone drunkenly cleaned and organized my car last night... Nothing's missing, so that's a plus.
I just spilled my beer on a five year old. She's crying but I can promise you I'm more upset.
Im just confused who has their mom break up with someone
I've spent hours masturbating before. It's actually my favorite Sunday activity
i told him the only way i'd fuck him was if he saved me during the zombie apocolypse and took me to a tastefully decorated yet impenetrable hideout.
So my furniture is upside-down, two lamps are glued to the ceiling, and there is a kitten sleeping on Kyle's face. Please tell me what happened last night....
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