Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
Life lesson: Don't ever put your penis in a crazy girl. Especially if she's married. And has a kid.
Sign #1 this conference will suck: Ice breaker question, how many proud virgins do we have in the room, overwhelming response. Looks like I'm not getting laid this weekend.
The ratio was 19 to 1 and the 1 was lauren so it didn't even count.
is it sad that whenever i need to spell "independent" i still sing that one rap song?
The guy is drinking 5 bottles of beer in a juice pitcher. Fucking amazing.
I've decided the third guy that I slept with is who I lost my virginity to...
When I find myself drinking from a boot I just go with it and refuse to ask why.
drunk waterpark is besst waterpark.
Yes. I am getting trashed on an open tab while judging a karoke competition
Impressive. I approve.
Vegas is great, yelled at a guy 4 lanes over if he wanted a bj. ended up having sex in a vacant lot. I think he was homeless.
Discovery: there is a folder in my pictures labeled "Your Name and cats"
Also I am throwing a blaZer over what I wore to bed and calling it an outfit.
i like that he makes me laugh. those are like my two favorite things. laughing and fucking.
Beer Olympics must happen in honor of the legit Olympics.
Randomize
