the coke olympics were a bad idea. there's a tree uprooted in the front of my building.
Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
He gave me a hug and said "He doesn't deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I'd fuck you anytime. Any. Place." I need a new 'gay' friend.
yea, there's something about a stripper whipping you with your own belt that makes you think
When you guys came back from the bar, I thought everyone was a T-Rex - Thats why i was hiding under the table. Never doing shrooms with Drunk people again
We ended not having sex. I didn't want to explain that I was wearing a Unitard because all my socks and underwear were dirty.
I can't believe I left out the part about him peeing on the side of Route 2 at 3 a.m. while wearing a dress.
After hearing her fall down in the shower for the third time, I decided to go check on her.
Had sex with the Irish bartender in Spain. So that happened.
IN THE MIDDLE OF HOOKING UP, HE IS CALLED AWAY ON AN "EMERGENCY". FUCK THAT, MATT'S CAR IS NOT AS URGENT AS MY THIRST.
I just figured out the time exactly by how many shots and beers that I've had since this morning. I either have a terrible problem, or a great solution.
Someone I just met told me they were going to name their kid after me. Daylight savings is weird.
the best part of christmas was when my mom opened the handcuffs that were supposed to be for jen. Surprisingly, not the most awkward situation of the day.
He is such a generous lover, I can look past the fact his name is fucking Bob.
He woke me with blue berry pancakes and a blow job. He's a keeper.
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