only if we run a train.
done.
I saw him at work today and he gave me a really awkward "I know what you do drunk" look...
dude my little brother busts into my room last night and yells did you know that grandma is hiding scrambled eggs between her legs
I cant remeber how long i've been laying here...it could be 10 minutes to a fucking day
I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
Awww, you two will make beautiful abortions together...
i just drank the rest of the vodka . Btw why did we put candy corn in it?
I gave up my innocence when I let him cum in my spelling bee trophy
Apparently I tried to convince him to sleep with me by showing him that I could do dips....
So when I eventually, if ever, find someone I'd like to marry, do you think having people fly to africa for a lion king themed wedding is too much?
Fucking holidays. How do I have this many men who want to fuck me and none of them are available when I'm ready to blow my top?
In the last six hours i have procured a free sandwich, watched three movies, and came to orgasm. If that isn't productivity then i don't know what is.
Simultaneously sexting while making brunch plans. Multitasking at its gayest.
Just once I'd like to go out and not have to tell you to put your pants back on.
Let this be a lesson to you, parmesan cheese crumbles are not a good substitute for coffee creamer, no matter how high you are
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