and next time when you feel me up, do it right
You got ahold of his prescription papers and gave out prescriptions for cranberry and vodka
Whoever said that a man can only cum up to 8 times a day is a fucking liar...or was never on adderall
And if not, hey- I've never had a restraining order before, so that will be cool
It could be our claim to fame
Done. I'll pack a cooler.
The pine trees are waving at me.
Put the pipe down honey.
Hi trees.
I looked up while we were having sex to see him covering my pillow pet's eyes with his free hand. I think I'm in love
Blasting venetian snares and drinking a beer. I love being an adult. It's like being a child but with beer for breakfast, better music, and no one yells at you.
Can we just talk about how I wrote out all the stuff I had to do this week and for Thursday it says "drink and cry"? ...I don't remember putting that but it sounds like something I would do
I stopped him mid keg stand to show him how cute my bra was...
So...I maybe walked across campus last night with my life size Joe Biden cut out.
plus like he's kinda a piece of shit. a beautiful somewhat talented piece of shit that hella needs to get his life together
I would wear his ballsack as a hat if he asked me to
Because you hugged a homeless guy, and I paid him 5 bucks to give us our giraffe balloon animal back. That's why.
woke up with 4 bruises, 2 hickies and a bad case of rug burn. texans are dangerous.
Idk I just think that seeing that man's Twitter always resulting in me looking for the whiskey is a bad sign
Randomize
