I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
when i spit it made a heart shape. i think it's a sign
Correct me if I'm wrong here... but did we serenade each others breasts to "winds of change" last night?
It's horrible of you to say your above all this when the bar uses your drunk picture to scare people.
If I am going to throw out this whole "born again virgin" thing...i'm not going to do it on someone who is less than 5 inches.
This milkshake tastes better than sex. Priorities, I have them.
My clit ring got caught in his beard. Never. Again.
I can't wait to go to grad school so I am not your high unemployed friend.
ATTN: We are officially 15 weeks from our annual "Get-Mega-Stoned-and-BBQ" event. Start saving up the proper supplies. That is all.
Someone just got kicked out of the mall for being dressed like a giant cat. I feel like this is in your future.
My cat clawed my face because i tried to give it a foot massage...never doing shrooms again.
WHY IS HE GONE WHEN I ACTUALLY HAVE THE AMOUT OF ESTROGEN TO HUMP A SQUIRREL?!?!
I can't stop drooling did you spike my drink?
Yeah you'd pretty much be ruined if you broke up with a guy like that and then had to return to the dating pool
He literally shoved the EMT, climbed in the back of the ambulance with his vodka and was like, "C'mon, people. Wrap this up. I got shit to do."
Randomize
