is it odd that your cat looks tougher than you?
Guess what? I had way too much to drink today. I'm properly wasted. Doing chores and playing video games while drunk. It's the nexus of stupidity and responsibility.
I mean he's a cool ass guy, but he's genuinely in love with a fat chick. I just can't take him seriously as a person.
I just want you to know IcyHot in the ear is weird. Don't ask.
i am literally watching eva make a trashbag diaper for you to sleep in tonight. whole new level of low for you.
i said good morning to each one of his abs personally
You know were out to late when I call my hook up at 8:08pm and 8:08am in the same night.
Oh boy...do i want the 'something you can tell your mom in 10 yrs' version or the 'Im gonna call you a whore but be proud' version?
Well at least it wasn't the first time I threw up out of a second story window
Ya. My thumbs are those buffalo's, but my legs are spirits and my torso is that Indian guys and my head is the eagle
Speaking of church, everyone showed up to lunch in the dining hall in their Sunday best and I walk in looking homeless bc I just got out of bed. I hate this school.
And then you refused to pee in anything but a sink
I just drove my booty call to his booty call, if that isn't spreading the love, I don't know what is.
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
WHY HAVE SO MANY THING GONE IN MY BUTT ON THIS TRIP
Randomize
