Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
beer for lunch on the first day back to school.... too soon?
I opened a jar of Ragu so I could use it as a cup. You tell me how it's going.
the fire alarm went off. we werent sure whether to leave or turn the music up louder
The girl behind me in psych just tapped me on my shoulder to tell me there was a condom wrapper in my hood.
Don't worry I drank 7 more beers & brought home a guy that bit me at the bar.
He asked me when I was coming to bed while simultaneously drilling a fart into the mattress. Don't fucking get married.
Immediately after I scarfed down an Applebee's appetizer trio for lunch, my boss sent me on an hour long road trip to pick up some parts. Great. I can't wait to shit my pants on US-31 South.
totally just stole a 24 pack straight out of the miller truck
my whole checking account just had a funeral down bourban street, paid for that, and then bought everyone 5 shots of fireball...
On a happier note, I can fit in my old shorts. Dope does have its perks
They weren't kidding when they said "Go Army Strong." Best sex I ever had.
At least he uses his lack of impulse control for chaotic good instead of chaotic evil
It went from a "chill game of beer pong" to "absinthe body shots and a tits parade" in literally two minutes.
Told you inviting her was a good idea.
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