I cheated on you last night. I slept with my laptop.
We can't ever have kids because there's a chance that they'll end up just like us.
yay, now i'm not the only homewrecker.
yeah but i stopped sleeping with him after i found out he was married.
If I was on drugs, this would be amazing
I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
I just miserably failed my own drug test. At least I know what a positive will look like when I give them to the employees tomorrow.
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
I'm too hungover to crawl to the fridge so im eating the candy nipple tassels I got bought for Christmas
What if I told you that I had 160 ounces of cheap malt liquor in my backpack? Espn films 40 for 40s presents: Edward 40 hands. Our room. 11PM/10 central
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
Dude it was bad... like you fell asleep around the toilet after drinking from the back tank bad.
i ended up eating cold sauceless spaghetti out of the container in the fridge with my hands.
3 2 1 whiskey
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
I can't tell if this is a hangover or just a perfect combination of shame and regret
Randomize
