nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
gotta love it when a reminder comes up on your phone and u think u forgot about a meeting or something then u read it and its only to remind me to go to the titty bar at 3
just convinced brandon semen are bugs that crawl in your pants and make gooey juice. now hes convinced he has them lmao
Don't put random dicks in your mouth or any other crevice for that matter... and i'm home in 30 seconds
Wish I got that text last night instead of this morning.
I came home to burning cookies and him outside "tanning" naked.
He just wants an even tan
It honestly wasnt my fault this time. i was in shock. WHO THE FUCK OWNS A PEACOCK?!
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
I'm on this new diet called "I have 10$ till next Friday, I have rice
It's been this way for a few days. I had chick fil a on Friday so this could be an attack from the Gay Gods as punishment.
wellllllll.... I literally just puked in my mouth so perhaps this is not the epic love connection I believed it to be 3 minutes ago.
Before he comes over remember the house standards. Ask yourself "will he stalk my sister or myself in the future?". If the answer is yes, then no, he isn't allowed.
The extent of "getting it in" was this creepy guy sticking his finger in my bellybutton
Just remember that I named his dick Robo-cock before he got into the sheriff's department.
After you passed out we took your car to the campus and stole a 150lb plaque that's now in your trunk. Happy birthday!
Get the fuck in, we're going to Taco Bell.
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