Did he leave or is he still there?
He left right away, I might have passed out. I saw your text and was like who left where? Then the oh shit feeling sunk in, hangover starting now.
I think hes settled down now. He's just licking the walls and the windows.
I swiped a lunchable and a gatorade from my one night stand's fridge, does it count as a date now since a meal was included?
So fucked up. Can't tell if I'm starving or about to puke. Playing it safe and eating froot loops. Tasty in, colorful out.
You just met him on Thursday, and you've already nicknamed him Golden Penis?
Hey can we break in your window? We need to borrow the dog.
by "whatever happens, happens" i meant "we are totally hooking up again on tuesday." i thought that was obvious.
The worst thing about it is now I have to find someone else to fuck in the library.
My only contacts are booty calls or the club hockey team.
Ps. I'm slapping the bag. It's an emergency.
He's got a big dick, a steady job and tells me I'm pretty. There is litterally nothing else I look for I a guy.
A guy just threw up in my lecture of 500 ppl and just got up and walked away
I feel like I purchased a one way ticket to hell last night and its non refundable.
Spent like 2 minutes so far learning and 35 minutes in a group chat talking about big asses. Yet another Wed zoom meeting.
Just letting you know that while you peed your pants in that guys jeep, The orgasm I had made my hair fall out... Good morning.
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