It's just like the Real World with babies
there's nothing like watching the sun rise at the library alone on a friday morning to make you want to kill yourself.
he literaly had industrial grade plastic underneth his blankets
Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in
just fought my dog for the chicken pie I dropped on the floor.
Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.
I was just about to send a concerned text until I opened my door and saw a shopping cart. I'm glad you made it home in one piece and with toys.
I want to hold her baby but I'm afraid I'll give it a contact buzz
Stumbled into class and into a desk. When I fell my bottle broke in my backpack. I had to leave there was vodka everywhere.
they fed me a peach. i was laying on the floor telling them how beautiful they were
hey watch out, they threw flour on everyone who passed out at their party last year.
Just heard the girl at the bar cuss her bf out and order a long island ice tea. Going to give it 5 min then I'm going in. See you on the other side.
Got drunk and tried to deep fry burritos. Turns out wild turkey isn't a good replacement for vegetable oil. Nearly burned my house down.
Sober people should be as daring as drunk people more often, because honestly the fact you’ve lived so long is a sign that anything is possible.
I think I collapsed a disk in my spine when I drunkenly lifted that fat girl on my shoulders to chicken fight at the pool.
Right?? Give me some apple scented candles and I'm a fall wet dream
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