all we need is a web designer
and a bunch of prostitutes
Careful when you walk in I'm laying by the door.
you also choked him out with your legs on the kitchen floor..
i'm way too high for it to be safe that i just discovered i have a fire extinguisher
ur roommate just sent me a pic of us fucking. i'm not coming over anymore.
There was an Altoids can full of urine in the bathroom. I do not want to know what was going on in there.
Wait, just ask him if can you can join in. You haven't lived until you've taken part in a threesome with your father...or so I've heard
Usually I just ask myself "have I been naked here?" If the answer is no I correct the situation.
She said if her future children dont have blue eyes she wont love them
Listen man, there's two things I know about in life: porn and sound. On a day that I'm wearing khakis, I need you to trust that I know what the fuck I'm doing.
So here's my pathetic thought of the day: what does it smell like to be sober?
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
I AM BEING ACCOSTED BY A HUMMING BIRD
I AM IN MILD DISTRESS
My sex life is driven by spite and alcohol
You "drove" the computer chair around the party for a good fifteen minutes. you would crash into things, freak out, and yell for an ambulance.
Randomize
