What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
The nice sales man at 711 gave me a handful of free lighters for buying a carton of cigarettes. I guess the depressed damsel in distress look works for me.
I woke up to him climbing naked through my bedroom window with a bottle of jd in his hand. Of course I had sex with him.
my roomates packed me a lunch. it had bread, cheesewiz, a can of refried beans and a condom with a note that said "good luck on your first day". im not even gonna pretend to be mad.
No matter what you may say to me. You will still be the guy that managed to get his own cum in his hair.
I think she was eating a cup of ramen noodles while we banged, or had a seizure
I asked a lamppost to be my valentine. Also: I'm wearing a sombrero. We need more sombrero in our lives.
Please tell me there is not a bookmark on your browser with the title "Christmas Porn"
A few days ago I apparently came up, asked her to make me soup, and handed her a can of coconut milk.
So I almost just died there. And we need a new garage door.
The guy behind me is talking about how his life goal is to use his knowledge of mathematics to make the world a better place. My only life goal right now is getting through this lecture without throwing up in my lap.
I just gate-crahed a party and met a state senator, so I had an interesting afternoon jog.
I love it when strippers help me get other strippers numbers.
I'm pretty sure he sprained my clit...
I’m not saying you’re wrong, I’m just saying he’s denying what you’re saying.
Randomize
