I just got asked by a man in the alley if i would like to buy 50 dollars of meat for 20 bucks. Its been a weird day.
It's a sad day when you have to slightly move your fupa to shave.
opening your purse in class to grab a pen only to find dollar bills and pink fuzzy handcuffs instead...that's a cool feeling
he actually proposed, and i threw up on him...i guess 5 glasses of wine was a bad idea.
My life has become a never ending game of 'illegal or just frowned upon?'
There was a canoe full of alcohol. It was literally a boat load of fun
If I brought two seashells to Lowe's, do you think that they'd drill two holes in each shell for me? I need to be a mermaid on Saturday...
Lets just not get arrested. That might put a damper on everything. I only say that cause i've almost been arrested.
corona bottle fell out of my backpack and broke in the middle of my physics midterm. yay me.
OMG THE KID WHO TRIED TO MAKE OUT AT THE BAR WITH ME IS SITTIG NEXT TO ME IN THE AIRPORT. WHY LIFE WHY???
Jelly. This is your "are you still alive" text. Any response will do.
Hey I found a cat!
You were so proud of your stupid "magic trick" but all you did was piss on the couch. don't talk to me for a few days.
See this is where I mess up.. I get distracted by the option of consistent sex and free beer
I just called my grandma crying, apologizing for being the first grandchild to have premarital sex...I'm either about to start my period or pregnant.
I can't wait to see you & have espresso-fueled sex
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