What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
Her sister's ass was worth my getting thrown out of the house.
Fyi mom and I voted and you're the DD tonight, congratulations
No, I'm never going to get a job bc I don't know anything about public relations except that Chris Crocker wants everyone to leave Britney alone.
So I called her out for all the gossip she does and she's like "you do the same, bitch"
So I was like "Im classy like the Countess, youre just a bitch like Kim."
Kudos on the Interstate Housewife metaphor.
Change your flight to Denver. That's where my penis is.
I making dinner, so you might want to actually come home tonight.
oh, you finally did the dishes then?
No, bought new ones.
I think I explained what happened in the voicemail. But I think I might have just cried and ranted about how cool osiris shoes are
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
I just asked her to come in through the window, this pretty much solidifies the whole fuck-buddy thing...
Wednesday is good, I needed the head count for the orgy, caroling can happen with as few as 2 people. There will be a pinata.
For the caroling or the orgy?
Look, when i woke up this morning, I had every intention of being a responsible twenty-five year old, cleaning up, making my budget, and filing my taxes. Its just I got siderailed by pot and downloading classic Disney songs, because fuck adulthood; everyone loves Disney.
The Easter dress struggle is real
Yep. Just had to pull mine off to puke.
I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.
You know your Halloween costume is slutty when you have to shave your pubes to wear it.
Randomize
