i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
all thats left of you is your magnum wrapper on my dresser
can you take me to a tanning bed
sure, why though?
i have to go once so i can blame these herpes on the tanning bed and she won't get suspicious
he told me I talked like a deaf person
I dated that bitch for 9 months and didnt get as much as a hand job. I met her sister last night for the first time and smashed that...twice
I respect that
Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
i'm not sure if i'm mentally prepared for this.. politeness? proper grammar? book reader ? this is a whole new meaning of the species penis for me.
I remember key bumps, porn and a mom in my bed. Sums up my day.
that is an amazing summary hahaha
How did I roll 7 times this month and survive?\nI must be some sort of ecstasy goddess
He sent me a pic of her engagement ring and then STILL asked for nudes.
So his roommate walked in on us, went upstairs to tell her bf she has found a new use for the rafters & they must try it.
And I made some girl take out the trash, load and unload the dishwasher, swifter, and clean the counters. So don't act like I don't do anything.
I'm soaking her vibrators in tabasco and wasabi paste. "furious" is an understatement
I was 40 minutes late to work today because I was getting fucked. Walked in to discover that it's apparently performance review day. Employee of the year.
I smell like a mix of alcohol, sweat, and sex and its only 10 AM
Randomize
