i know we just met, but i forget your name, and i'm wondering why my penis burns?
If you're gonna cry pregnant again I'm not coming over.
tonight would not even compare to the night i tried to pee in the living room
five shots of tequila, anal and 3 cigarettes. not my best idea on a saturday afternoon.
nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
my momz letting me make the christmas card in photoshop
so that means christmas in space?
imma make our dead cats ghosts like obi wan kenobi
All I know is she had me sitting on the kitchen floor with her little Pomeranian eating potato chips And shredded cheese. I don't even know dude. I don't even know.
I FEEL LIKE I CAN TAKE DOWN A FULLY GROWN MOUNTAIN LION WITH ONLY A POINTY STICK OH MY GOD
Fuck my life, there's a fry in my vagina.
I kinda feel like I was hit by a Prius. Just glad it's not bus status.
She gave you a handy in the bar and you were surprised she was good with a dick?
Hahah good point
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
I woke up naked wrapped in a wolf blanket on the bathroom floor
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