i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
i think i have two assholes
I hope the doctor doesnt lift up and my shirt and listen to my lungs. I dont want to explain why I have rug burns on my back.
Also- bikini mowing was a horrible idea. One truck just drove by 3 times, turning around at the end of the block each time. My tan may be better for it but my conscience has been raped.
I'm 99.9% sure the people upstairs are using walki-talkies to talk to each other across the room. Too high for this shit
The two of us decided to throw a spur-of-the-moment parade and the next thing I know we're 4 miles down the road being followed by 65 drunk strangers
No matter how drunk I am or how drunk I'll ever be I love you
This is why you have to watch more Zombie movies- to prepare for End Times...
Good rule of thumb: only list personal references with whom you have hallucinated
I would go disguised as someone he didn't have premature ejaculative sex with but I don't know if I could stay in character.
All I can remember from last night was eating nutella and touching myself to Weird Science.
in your professional opinion, what's the most elegant way of saying "sorry I spent all night flirting with you, I thought you were gay" ?
You fell while talking to a cop, then proceeded to acuse him of tripping you... he was arresting you for public intox.
We were totally high while having sex, I told him fast or slow, just follow your balls. That was a show stopper.
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