So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
Pretty certain he passed out for a while going down on me. Absolutely certain he passed out during the blow job.
We are possibly on our way, unless we see the limo full of strippers.
The bouncers kicked us out around 3 so we went to the grocery store flasks in hand and asked them to turn up their music...
and lets be real... who can blow a middle school class's sunday school teacher and keep a straight face ever again? NOBODY.
If the blood belongs to whoever dumped glitter all over my couch than the motherfucker got what was coming to them. If not, I hope they're ok.
Luckily my prof thought I was puking from nerves and gave me motivational mini speeches the entire final.
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
You are COMPLAINING that the sex was too good. You're not getting any sympathy from me
I always thought The Big Bang Theory wasa terrible show but that was before it came with blowjobs and pizza.
I jumped out of a moving car going sixty into my driveway because I had to shit so bad. It is not a good day today.
I ate so much cake that I can't even enjoy a blowjob
That's the most first world problem I've ever heard in my life.
The night's not a success unless at least 60% of participants wake up with bite marks on their genitals the next morning.
I don't know what kind of parties you go to, but we should hang out more often.
Woke up in my boxers on a subway with a phone number written on my arm in lipstick..Best Night EVER.
I'm on a walk of shame carrying YOUR pants. You owe me.
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