Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
i woke up under my mattress pad with him laying naked next to me and his wwjd bracelet on my nightstand.
nice, that's exactly what jesus would do.
then she woke up from sleeping for an hour and the first thing she said was "i regret it already"
Why do bread and butter chips remind me of eating out your mom?
That's science, my friend. Boner science.
We're gonna go drive around campus and throw water balloons at all the drunk bitches wobbling around, wanna come?
You called me and said "Aidan's unconscious" to which he said "I'm conscious, I'm conscious pilot"
He was filled with the holy spirit. And vodka.
All my money is going towards making my vagina hairless
Worth it.
I'm going to be an 8 year old girl down there foreverrrr #fountainofyouth
I'm not sure what is worse, the fact that Hoffman doesn't sell vodka before 9am or that I was trying to buy vodka at 8:30am.
But I do cardio so I don't get winded during sex really it's not like I'm trying to lose weight
And that is why I love you so much. You have the same cold black heart as me.
also I was promised more toga parties by popular media
He left cushions on my floor, chocolate on my bra and unexplained scratches on my thighs. I think this one might get a second date.
I like shiny stuff tho if that’s an emotion
i couldn't be more explicit if i hit him upside the head with a dildo
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