So she is eating her margarita with tortilla chips....like using her chip as a spoon
You better get here soon. I'm about to spend $30 on a cactus online
At one point I was double fisting both beer & ice cream. I love public events in this town.
A homeless man walked up to me at the bar, pointed, and told me to get my shit together. Jesus?
I woke up this morning covered in blood and peanut butter. I am now safe from vampires with nut allergies.
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
So our 'date' consisted of getting drunk off champagne at four and photo-bombing the shit out of tourist's pictures all over the city. Thoughts?
How much did you drink?
Enough to be hungover and still think roller coasters were a good idea
Slowly realizing that my only incentive to bathe is shower beer
If I had that in my pants Omg I would want a shirt made so everyone knew
i'm totally cool with all the dick sucking you're doing down there, but as your brother i think i'm supposed to warn you our parents will be home in 5
The bad news is I fucked my exes girlfriend. The good news is I100% understand why he left me
He told me I remind him of his ex girlfriend but in a better more advanced way..
It feels like heartburn in my lungs. I'll buy 2 pounds.
maybe you should have closed the porn before you gave the professor your computer to hook up to the projector?
Randomize
