i'm surrounded by gay midgets. not sure if i'm bragging or asking you to come rescue me. wait for follow up.
So we stole all of the newspapers out of the stands within a 1 mile radius and filled up her car with crumpled newspaper.
Who leaves their car unlocked at night?
Someone who wants to read the newspaper.
look. either you want to have late night naked sleep overs or you don't. do not involve dinner and extraneous conversations in this relationship.
I took the chef home. His dick even tasted like garlic
I don't care if we have to swim home from the bar, Im not gonna sit home in the dark and read some fucking book
The cops knocked on our door just to ask us if we were really having a no-pants party.
You know what? I bet HE would do stormtrooper roleplay with me. I'm in.
Strip club for my birthday. And none of this discrimination shit. We're going to a guys one and girls one. Go get your singles.
Like I had to call my dad because I couldn't manage to unlock the door. And when he got there to open it I was climbing the gate to get in.
Get a piano. I want to have sex on it.
Had sex with the Irish bartender in Spain. So that happened.
somehow a ride to walgreens turned into a threesome.
Like your dick isn't Beyoncé, it doesn't get close ups
We have sober sex! It's a real relationship.
We are taking a shrt nap on the sidewalk cme fine me if you want but dont wake me up
Randomize
