I went to blockbuster, where I always go when I need to soul searching
Despondent, hopeless, I decide on vantage point, because I vaguely resemble matthew fox (let me believe this, please)
It was cheaper to buy then rent, so now I'm stuck w/ a wretched hangover and I own this shit movie
guess who just trotted in eating her oats and wagging her penis
Unfortunately, they didn't pull of their wake and bake plans. Instead, they waked and vomited like a half-retarded giraffe till everyone woke up.
i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
Yes someone did see you carrying a beer bong on the side of coastal highway
Sometimes i wish my penis was detachable that way i could take it off sometimes so i wouldnt get into these situations
I just got a whiff of tequila through the air conditioner.
apparently i walked around all last night forcing people to beer bong whatever drink was in their hand. so far this morning ive had three people refer to me as beer bong man
Just realized how sopa could affect my ability to watch porn, son of a bitch
It's like all my brain cells are screaming at me.
I'm dying.
He wanted me to blow him while he did curls and looked at himself in the mirror. Not sure if gay or ego maniac.
Sooooo have your ex-girl console you over your ex ex girl that you destroyed said ex-girl over the possibility of
First non virgin Sunday. Bursts into flames.
I’m not washing my pussy with handsoap.
I literally blew him under my face mask. Not because I thought it'd protect me from COVID, but because I wanted to prove to myself that I could.
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