How can she be afraid to give you a blowjob? It's not like your penis is going to turn on her and eat her.
I just fell for a fake 50 dollar bill in a urinal. Fuck pittsburgh
eating taco bell the same day as formal = probably a bad idea
our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
Pro tip: Don't start playing Bejeweled on Facebook while waiting for your Adderall to kick in. Unless you have the next 9 hours free.
She put baby oil on her toes and i am not legally allowed to talk about what happened
the only sentence i could make out from her was "i will wash these herpes away"
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
Are taco bell cups microwave safe? I can't make that judgement right now
I'll be really easy to find... I'm the naked one rolling around in cats.
Here's a tip. Don't party with someone that needs sexual attention. Drinking and sexual attention don't mesh well in the morning. Especially over a bowl of Cheerios.
it was good, but also weird. like, i came four times and then cried weird.
Moral of the story: always keep condoms in your bra
I feel like you're encouraging me to commit a felony.
I feel like you're wasting time.
It’s Sunday Funday! Stop watching football and bring your penis over here. There will be plenty of scoring!
Randomize
