Right on... I dropped my chapstick
I blacked out
I was just at the bank and there was a fat lady wearing a cape. today is gonna be awesome.
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
I just licked the seasoning off all the doritoes in the bag. Tell me when I should stop drinking or I'll just move on to the sunchips
How can he have such a manly penis and baby hands?!
We left your bucket of puke on your doorstep to clean out yourself. You're welcome.
I was thrown in the air atleast 3 times by baby jesus
Doc gave me something stronger than Xanax. The pills have your last name imprinted on them. This cannot be coincidence.
Well we had to pull over on a side street in town so I could throw up while moms were driving by with car loads of kids, I feel like I just performed a lil silent AA film for the childrens
mom is telling me the setting in which I was conceived
did you know we used to have a pool?
Finally liberated my Star Trek DVD from my booty call's house. Captain Kirk would be so proud.
There was a comma in between her and dick. I was calling you a dick. Jesus.
i just want things to go smoothly
oh they won't lmao
I fucked her on her ex's Yankee sheets while she was wearing an Ortiz jersey...of course she gets to meet my mother
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
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