i actually looked down at my cock today and said "whoa buddy, you need a haircut....(grimace) and a shower"
i said send nudes i get bra and panties. thats not what i fucking asked for.
i have a food baby... i think its a boy...
Sorry for calling you a whore in front of your mom. World cup brings the worst out of me.
Fuck. The basement bathroom I've been getting head in for 6 months just went 'Out of Service'.
Dude, seduce him with cookies. You almost turned me gay with scones. Don't be surprised when they get you laid.
after the shots you kept on yelling "this is for the dreamers"
he kept telling me how much his girlfriend would love me while we were making. why does tequila always do this to me?
I'm petty sure you said "hold on let me make my nipples hard, they look better"
Long story short he broke into a preschool and threw all their cones into a tree.
You is good. You is important. You is a slut.
I asked my boss to leave early for a booty call. She said yes. See.... everyone sees it's important I get laid.
Friends don't brand friends with cigars. It's not how it works.
I think he's only dating me for my ass...
We found out if you get Ben high but stay sober yourself he is an AWESOME cook. You need to get your ass down here, this goes against everything I know to be real.
Randomize
