You picked a bad night to stay in. ____ caught her hair on fire in ____'s birthday cake.
She had to stop drop and roll while two other girls beat the flames out. She might have a black eye
If Jon and Kate can get divorced...how hard can it be for me?
You stood in front of a yellow Camaro and kept yelling at it to "Transform already!!!!".. yeah, I'd say you were pretty wasted.
She refered to her bed as the "cockpit"....I understand that this morning.
Apparently the cops have a video of me singing bob seger "Night moves".
I woke up and took my shirt off, and there was what I was assume to be pieces of tree in my chest hair. Any ideas about that one?
I went to pick my brother up downtown and I stopped at a red light a homeless old man comes up knocks on the window shows me his penis and then screams money
Totally forgot Mike has only one ball. Is it sad I'm excited to see it? Or shall I say the lack of it?
List 10 things your GF won't do for you, and we can work through that list.
all night she kept rolling over and mumbling something about wanting an extendable retractable urethra.
I hope. Last year I got lost in New Orleans and some guy named Cookie walked me home while I cried.
YOu just turned down my vagina. Something must be wrong. Vegas changed you!
I need to get some goddam control over my hormones
You still owe me one bodily function mess clean up.
You pee on the floor one time and you never hear the end of it...
you started putting peanut butter on your pubes.
Randomize
