at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
I specifically asked you not to be slutty tonight.
I think I'm going to be in trouble for sneaking out last night. My Dad saw me drive up this morning when he was leaving early for work.
What'd you say?
I told him I was sleep driving
fuck the hobbit
what about unicorns?
fuck those pointy horses
So bad night, ended up beating off to porn and eating Keebler elf cookies.... at the same time :-(
Is there a nice way of saying 'touch my penis or i dont really wanna hangout"?
I just ate a cashew that looked EXACTLY like your dick.
Shit, I may have left some acid in your bathroom last night. Has he been in there lately.
He ripped off his shirt and tried to give me CPR. That damn bong.
Apparently I've been blackout drunk doing abstract algebra on the floor
Why is there soup literally in every orifice of my body?
It's 1:26 and I have already found 5 fruit flies between 3 separate glasses of wine. This is supposed to be a summer problem. Fucking global warming.
you asked how they got the microwave in the air. we had to explain three times that it was mounted there until you finally feel asleep
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
he literally walked in took a shit and left ringing the 'great service' bell on the way out.
Randomize