i'd rather walk the sahara in a snuggie with no water than take a bicycle cab
I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
..and then spiked the maple syrup at iHop
I have to verbally tell you. He looks good on paper...but he totally fails in person. Like communism.
Do you not remember you showing everyone in the bathroom your period stained underwear? I'd say you were pretty happy it came
She was really fucking loud. My neighbors definetly knew my name...
I miss the days of selfishly blowing a load in the condom without her knowing and acting all like "we shouldn't do this" so she would get dressed and leave.
friends don't put videos of other friends on youtube puking on their professor on the first day
Woke up today to the sound of church bells. My first thought was shit the apocalypse, but then I remembered my hook up lives next to a church. This might be a rough day.
i was beyond wasted so he tucked me into bed and wrapped the blankets around me like a burrito. then gave me a bloody mary and an omlet when i woke up. and who says living with your cousin is a bad thing?!
There was a pirates of the caribbean marathon on. No matter how much you like rum, it is NOT possible to outdrink the pirates. They always win.
You forgot your "boyfriend" from last night on my couch. You're suppose to bring that shit with you.
what do you mean i can't make cookies with a blow dryer? challenge accepted.
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
we cut you off when you started chasing with your slim fast shake
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