how soon is too soon after the break-up to ask for my condoms back?
I just gift wrapped bread.
Yeah, we spent most of the evening making fun of the drunk girl until we realized it was you.
It was ok at first, but now im getting freaked out by him jerking off to me doing yoga
the lady at the gas station just thanked me for wearing clothes this time... i am so confused
What's life without a lamp shade you wore home?
They made the rule if I caught the ball with my cleavage they would drink the entire beer pong table. I don't think they expected me to actually do it.
I just learned how to imitate a trains smokestack. The downside is it makes you look like you ate cocaine. The upside is YOU LOOK LIKE A TRAIN
Part of me really wants this picture, but the other part of me knows if he is really this drunk, he could be sodomizing a lamp and not know it
I forgot about snapchatting a pic of us, but I remember flossing with your hair.
Oh no. Did you guys fuck on my pull out couch?
He? As in you personified your dick?
I'll just tell you, some how when we were having sex on Friday my collarbone got fractured.
They cut me off when I tried to pee in the corner of the bar.
really who shits their pants then locks themselves out of their apartment? ... I threw my underwear out in a random bathroom
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